Overcoming FOMO and Finding Balance

​As I begin to recover from my busiest week of the entire year – the Hancock County Fair – I’ve been struggling to find a balance between doing enough without doing too much. If you have a chronic illness or disability, you probably understand this dilemma.

​FOMO, or fear of missing out, is a real bummer. And it’s incredibly common among spoonies. Why are people with chronic illnesses so susceptible to FOMO? I think it has to do with the fact that our fears are warranted and are reinforced over and over again each time we miss an opportunity – whether it’s directly related to our illness or not.

​I’m the kind of person who sees opportunities everywhere. It can be both a positive and a negative. On the one hand, there is always something new and promising to be excited about. On the other hand, I often bite off more than I can chew because I get too excited and try to do everything at once. Growing up with chronic illness probably contributed to this trait. At one point, I wasn’t physically able to do much, and when I finally began to feel better, I felt as though I had to make up for lost time. Now, I get extremely frustrated when I interact with people who don’t share my excitement and enthusiasm about new projects or opportunities for involvement.

​But FOMO isn’t always a bad thing. It was one of the driving factors in my decision to transfer to a different university more than ten years ago. It also inspires me to try new things and push the limits of my comfort zone. FOMO only becomes unhealthy when you find yourself sacrificing your health and well-being for things that don’t necessarily align with your priorities.

​Here are three simple steps I'm taking to combat this more insidious form of FOMO:

1. Understand your triggers and prepare in advance.

The Hancock County Fair: My Happy Place

After several years on the fair board, I decided to take a step back this year and simply volunteer. I know from 25+ years of experience that I tend to get carried away when fair season comes around. But like many things in life, the fair relies on an entire community of people to be successful, and it’s not my job to do it all.

2. Prioritize. Prioritize. Prioritize. 

​I’m focusing my attention on a well-curated calendar and learning to set boundaries to protect my time. That means I sometimes have to cut things that I care about from my schedule to make room for things I care more about. It’s a constant reminder that I can’t do everything, and that’s why the next step is so important.

3. Focus on what you CAN do, not on what you CAN'T do.

There’s no point in grieving the items that get cut from my calendar. Instead of wasting time wishing I could do more, I’m trying my best to form a new habit of shifting that focus to the things I can do. And right now, that includes training for a 15K, completing my school assignments on time and learning to let go of things that aren’t meant for me.

​Have you struggled with FOMO as a result of a chronic illness or disability? Share your tips for finding balance in a busy world in the comments!